Drove up the coast today. I had left my Dads house with no plans. All I had planned on my return was to see my girl. That being done, I had nothing pencilled in to my schedule, for the first time in a while.
See I had just got back from 2 months overseas, working in the middle east. The other thing I had to do was get my van out of storage, and get it ready for living in again. It was to this end that I had gone to Dads, and also to see him. So I swept out the van, getting rid of the cobwebs that had been spun inside by storage spiders. Transferred a selection of clothes from my suitcase into the van, put everything else in storage. Its funny but I will be living with less clothes here, in my home town and supposed normal life, than I had with me on the other side of the world…
So after doing that little bit of housekeeping I drove down the beach. It is embarrassing but in the interest of truth I feel less confident here in Perth than I did in the middle east. People here have stylish haircuts, gym bodies, fancy cars and healthy arrogance. I am just a skinny guy of humble means with crazy ideas and unrealistic dreams.
But I felt good down at Scarborough beach regardless. When I was younger, like in school, I would have loved to feel as comfortable as I do today: going to the beach by myself would have made me fucking anxious. It is always hard to ‘roll solo’…
So I felt ok. Had a bit of a meditate, and felt OK. But not excellent. Thought I wanted to get some space to myself, to sit in the back of my van and sort out my shit, have a look at my new toys like this little laptop Id ordered while away. Set up some new recording geat. Impossible to do in Scarborough beach carpark. And not like I have a place of my own to do that kind of thing, as I am living in my van for now.
So I got in the van and, shirtless with reggae music playing, headed north. I stopped at a far northern suburb to buy supplies and it was full of English people. As in people from England, or Britain or thereabouts. I asked the bottle shop attendant wether there was a supermarket nearby? and he sayed aye, shops over the road in a thick accent. I was travelling fast, and was farther north than I had ever been in the suburbs… So, beers steak and potato salad safely in my orange esky, I pressed on.
I was trying to hug the coast, but more than once a new housing development got in the way, where they had blocked the road and the route detoured inland. It was interesting to see these new constructed suburbs popping up in the dunes. I thought of the realisation I had once that we literally scrape the natural face off the earth and put back a totally man designed environment on top when we construct suburbs here. What was once dunes and coastal scrub becomes lawns and big houses, all very VERY similar if you consider the range of habitations that people have chosen to live in during their 100,000 years of existence. To me it seems arrogant that we think we can design an environment that we will be happy in. Arrogant to think that we know what we need better than nature does. When I hit Yanchep it started getting beautiful and I started to lift up and feel lighter. I was out of the suburban landscape and all that it entails. A mix of vegetation that I hadnt seen before stretched away on either side of the road. Then I passed through a pine plantation, and smelt the sap of those trees. True, a constructed landscape once again, but not one designed to influence the way people live necessarily.
Further up the reoad I took a left, heading off the highway, coastwards. Had got pretty high up, and was keen to find a place to stop for a beer, and a feed, and to get in the back of the van and sort my shit out, the main reason I wanted to get some space. So found a spot, near this little town alled Guilderton, near its lighthouse. Funny name Guilder Town. I think it must be a reference to dutch treasure, from the many sunk Dutch merchant ships along our coast here.
So I parked up near this lighthouse, cooked a steak on my stove, had a few beers, tried to enjoy the peaceful spot and the view and the solitude. Unfortunately, all was not awesome. I was a bit flighty in my head, and I feared that now that I had gotten away and by myself, there was no point. I might as well have stayed in perth. A bit frustrated I pushed on, to the next town further north, Lancelin. But now that I am here and wrtiting, I know that the POINT of getting away in my van is to get creative space. Even though I am not making music, which was the original intention, I am writing and I feel satisfaction from that. So that narrows it down (or broadens it as the case may be):
I need to get creative to feel satisfaction, whether this is musical or some other form.
The drive from Guilder Town to Lancelin as the sun went down was tough. I am a little nervous to drive too fast, as I reckon it would be bad to crash, and a van takes longer to slow down. But I got my focus on, and was soon eating up the road. Getting in to Lancelin I drove around the town, having a look. Of course, everything was closed and there was no sign of life. Stopping at a carpark by the beach, I walked down a winding track in the dunes, amazed at how DARK it was.
When I got to the beach i sat down on the sand, as I was still frustrated at this point. Looking up at the moon I saw what I reckon might be a rare sight: some kind of lunare eclipse. The moon was showing like a burning circle in the sky, and while a looked at it, it moved to become a standard crescent moon. Going back to the van, I drove to find a more secluded beach where I could park up to sleep, and thats where I am now.
It is very dark outside. But in the morning it will be bright, and Ill go swimming.